


You Can't Hold My Heart

by ShrimpWithGlasses



Series: The All About Luv Project [9]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Shownu sweetie im so sorry i luv u its just for the story i swear, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShrimpWithGlasses/pseuds/ShrimpWithGlasses
Summary: Oh Can You Numb The Pain, Cause It Runs Deep In Constant Waves
Relationships: Lee Minhyuk/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Series: The All About Luv Project [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662577
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	You Can't Hold My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> EDITED 05/23/20: THIS IS THE OLD VERSION! IF YOU WANT TO READ A STORY WHERE SHOWNU ISNT WRITTEN SO OUT OF CHARACTER CAUSE I WAS STUPID, CHECK OUT VERSION 2! TRUST ME, ITS MUCH BETTER THAN THIS.

Minhyuk was a simple man. Just a simple man, with a crush. A crush on another man. That man being so far out of his league, he wouldn’t dream of asking him out. But he wasn’t scared. If anything, Minhyuk enjoyed a challenge. 

  
Hyunwoo was a regular customer at the bar Minhyuk worked at. He came every so often with his friends and ordered the same drink every time. He doesn’t drink too much, though, since he has to look out for his other friends that drank too much that night. Of course, falling for someone _that_ kind is obvious, but Minhyuk just straight up fell for his looks.

  
As he worked the night shift one day, Minhyuk noticed that he came alone. As business was slow, he took the opportunity to talk to him. “Hey, how’s it going?” He took the seat across from him. “Oh, um, sorry. I won’t be drinking today, thank you.” Minhyuk laughed. “No worries, dude. I just wanna talk. It’s slow today and I was getting bored just standing behind the bar.”

  
He nodded but didn’t continue conversation. “So… what brings you here alone today?” Hyunwoo looked at him. “Oh, no, it's just that I take note of all my regulars here. You and your friends are quite the drinking party, I might say.” Hyunwoo laughed. “Well, not today. They were busy, but I felt like going somewhere, and this was the first place I could think of.”

  
Minhyuk nodded. “Are you hungry? I can get you some food.” He heads toward the kitchen and gets together a simple appetizer platter. He heads back out and places it on their table. “Oh, no, I didn’t really bring any money with me…” Minhyuk shook his head. “Don’t worry about, it’s on the house.” Before he could sit down, a large group of drinkers stepped into the bar.

Ugh, perfect timing. He puts his hand on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. “If you don’t mind, could you wait until my shift is over? I wanted to talk to you some more.” He gave a small nod. Satisfied, Minhyuk headed back to work. Maybe it was because he wanted his shift to end quickly but handling this group of drunk people was harder than it’d usually be. But in this line of work, you find ways.

  
After getting the group to leave just before close, he looks around for Hyunwoo. Somehow, in the midst of all that chaos, he missed when he slipped out of the bar. Devastated, Minhyuk closed up shop. “Heartbroken before it began, huh. What a bummer.” He whined as he locked the front door. “Excuse me?” Startled, Minhyuk jumps into a fighting position. It was only Hyunwoo. “Don’t **DO** that, I could’ve punched you.” He sighed.

  
“Where’d you run off to, anyway? I didn’t notice you leave.” He shrugged. “I figured you needed everyone out before you closed, so I waited outside.” Minhyuk was touched by how thoughtful he was. “Oh, thank you for that.” They stand in awkward silence. “You needed to talk to me?” Hyunwoo asks. ‘OH, yeah, right.” Minhyuk takes a deep breath.

  
“I’ll just get right to it. I think you’re really hot; would you like to go out with me?” He finished his confession with a bow. He stayed like that for a few seconds, waiting for the other man’s response. “Sure.” Hyunwoo replies. Minhyuk jumps up and fist pumps the air. He confessed and it worked! Now it was nothing but smooth sailing from here on out!

  
_Or was it?_

  
It’s been almost a year since they began dating, and it’s been a little…underwhelming, to say the least. Minhyuk was so excited to finally be with the man of his dreams but things just didn’t... feel right. It felt like Minhyuk had put so much effort into their relationship and received little to nothing in return. He asked Hyunwoo once about it. He only responded with “Sorry, I’ve never dated someone before.” Of course, _that makes sense._

  
Not much changed after that, but Minhyuk doesn’t want to put all the blame on him. He did say he was new at this. _“Maybe it’s just me.”_ Minhyuk then worked hard to change himself for Hyunwoo. Asking him about his interests and making the effort to talk to him about it. It worked for a while, but Minhyuk could only put up a front for so long.

  
His friends tell him that he shouldn’t have to change, but Minhyuk disagrees every time, no matter how exhausting it gets. He loves Hyunwoo and wants to be with him. So he’ll do whatever it takes to keep him happy. But as they reached 6 months into their relationship, what Minhyuk feared came to pass. He didn’t feel…anything. _Nothing._

  
He ignores this feeling, thinking it stemmed from the lack of affection he got from Hyunwoo. He keeps his façade, hoping that one day Hyunwoo gives him the affection he longs for. He’s not asking for much, really. Just a hug, hand holding, even a pat on the head would be good enough. Something to make Minhyuk feel like he was special to Hyunwoo. 

  
He spent the other half of his year with Hyunwoo like this and it took a lot out of Minhyuk to keep this act up. He didn’t want to lose hope. But the affection he wanted never came from Hyunwoo’s own volition. Minhyuk always had to ask for it. One day as he was out for a day by himself, he saw Hyunwoo and his friends head into the bar where they first met.

  
He follows them inside and hides in a booth near their table. They didn’t talk about much and Minhyuk though he’d just leave at that point. That is until one friend mentions him. “Oh yeah, how’s it going with that bartender here? What did you say his name was…?” “Minhyuk.” His friend slams the table. “Right, right, that guy! So how have you two been?” Hyunwoo shrugs, and Minhyuk sits back down. 

  
“Ok, I guess.” His friends laugh. “Dude, honestly we still can’t believe it. You being into dudes and all.” His friend goes to take a drink. “I’m not.” They all pause. Minhyuk feels his heart drop. _Was this all just a prank?_ “You’re not? Then why are you even dating him?” Hyunwoo swirls his drink. “It’s not that I’m not into guys, it’s more that it doesn’t matter to me who likes me.” Somehow, that sentence didn’t make Minhyuk feel any better.

  
“Ok, then, why _did_ you agree to date him? I mean, you gotta have a type or something, right?” Hyunwoo leans back, crossing his arms. “Not really, when he asked me out, I noticed he was shaking, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.” His friends look at each other. “Do you like him _at all?_ ” Minhyuk was listening closely. “He’s nice.” “But do you **like** him?” Hyunwoo pauses. “As a friend.” Minhyuk felt his whole body go cold.

  
“Ok, ok, let me get this straight. You’re dating this guy that confessed to you, out of pity and you don’t even feel the same way he does?” Hyunwoo stays silent. “Well, when you say it like that…” His friends all collectively sigh. “Hyunwoo, I understand you not wanting to hurt his feeling, but if he finds this out, it’s going to hurt him way more.” Another friend chimes in. “Yeah, I'd tell him as soon as possible, Hyung.”

  
Minhyuk leaves. He didn’t feel like ruining their time with an argument. It felt like his whole world fell apart. As he headed home, thousands of thoughts ran through his mind. _Why do I feel so weird? Should I be feeling so calm? He made me feel like a fool all this time. Did he have any feelings for me **at all?**_ He arrived home and laid in his bed for a while. Suddenly, a couple minutes late, his doorbell rang.

  
When he opened the door, he was both surprised and disappointed to see Hyunwoo waiting outside. It was the first time he’s come over on his own. But Minhyuk knew this night wasn’t going to go how he once hoped it would. He invited him in and offered him a drink. Hyunwoo politely declined and they both sat on the couch. 

  
Minhyuk knew exactly why he was here, but he was not going to let Hyunwoo get the better of him this time. He wanted to test one last time and see if Hyunwoo had any feelings for him at all. He offered for the two of them to watch a movie, to which Hyunwoo agreed. Minhyuk put on his façade and played the movie. He cuddled up to him as usual, but Hyunwoo remained still.

  
As the credits rolled, Minhyuk went in for a kiss; Hyunwoo’s lips never moved.

  
Once the screen went black, Minhyuk places his hand on his leg; Hyunwoo never moved.

  
Hyunwoo watched as Minhyuk straddled him, arms around his neck. “Do you want to sleep with me?” Minhyuk askes, staring straight into his eyes. He recalls how beautiful they once were to him. But Hyunwoo’s body didn’t move. “If that’s what you want, I’m ok with it.” 

  
Minhyuk, regrettably, found his answer.

  
He removed himself from his lap and leaned back against the couch. “Sorry, but can you go home today? I don’t feel too good." Hyunwoo hesitated before getting up and heading to the door. Minhyuk stood up with him. “Hey, Hyung?” Hyunwoo looked back. “I’ll see you around.” Minhyuk said with an almost perfect smile. He only nodded in response before stepping out the door.

  
Before Minhyuk went to bed that night, he texted Hyunwoo one last message.

  
_“I want to break up.”_

  
The next morning, Minhyuk checked his messages. No response. But it was read.

  
\----

  
One would normally _not_ visit the place their ex works at, but Minhyuk still saw Hyunwoo come by once in a while with his friends, rarely alone. They never spoke to each other again. And any trace of the two having been together at all was nowhere to be seen. Minhyuk laughs at himself. He knows anyone else in his situation would be furious. But he just couldn’t be. 

  
Perhaps if he’d found out at the beginning of their relationship. But right now, he found no reason to be angry. After all, at that point, he fell out of love with Hyunwoo. He wasn’t upset at how it seemed like it took no time at all for Hyunwoo to forget about him. On the contrary, he was relieved. 

  
He held on for so long, but now he could finally let him go. He could no longer hold his heart anymore. And finally, it felt like Minhyuk could be himself again. 

**Author's Note:**

> You Can't Hold My Heart is my favorite song off the album, but I hated having to write about it cause it can only end in heartbreak. Shownu I'm sorry, I know you'd be a wonderful loving partner its just for the story I swear!


End file.
